Jul
My mom is in Hospice House with terminal pancreatic cancer. I'm having a hard time watching her go downhill. She's down to 50 lbs and looks like a skeleton. She's still eating (abit) and drinking. There's now a pressure sore on her tailbone that won't heal, and she has open leg ulcers on one leg. Yesterday the nurses changed the bandages, and mother cried. I've never seen her cry…ever. She's also getting extremely weak, to the point she can't get out of bed. She tries though, and has fallen twice in the night trying to walk 10 steps to the lavatory. The nurses have told us if she won't ring for help, then they’ll have to sedate her, so she doesn't break anymore bones.
I'm finding this really hard to deal with. I never thought I'd see my fiesty little mother like this.We’re hoping the end is near, but believe she will fight this as long as possible.
Thanks for letting me vent
Answer:
first let me state how sorry i am and how lucky she is to have such a loving daughter. i also watched my father struggle and finally give in to cancer. I know how hard it is to see someone who is so strong waste away to nothing. My prayers are with you and especially for your mom. If you ever need to vent or someone to listen you can contact me by going to my profile and send me a message there. Take care!!
Answer:
Sorry to hear all that. It's a really tough time for you and your family. If you are in UK, try contacting Macmillan or Cancer Backup? They offer support nd counselling at all stages of cancer, and practical advice / information (like whether sedating your mom is normal - I think it is). The hospital where your mother had her active treatment before the hospice might have a dedicated cancer support centre or specialist nurse who can help you comprehend the decisions coming.
For your mother and you, I hope her end is near and is peaceful.
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it is your mam's decision , she has the right to live and to fight ,, if she has chosen so then it is her decision ,,, and it is up to you to stand by her or to make things difficult ,,,,
i comprehend that er situation is critical and difficult but she is your mam and you have to make it as decent as you can for her ,,, she knows that she is a burden on her family ,, so plz dont make her feel like this , support her
Answer:
i'm so sorry. i will pray for both of you. i comprehend how difficult this is. she will go in god's time. make sure she knows how much you love her and let her know you understand if she wants to go.
you may wish to check out the website, or purchase the book called 'crossing the creek'.
god bless you.
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im not sure if you believe in god, but everything happens for a reason it really does.. and soon comes a time where everyone must leave to go to a happier and better place. your moms ready to go there. im guessing she lived a long and healthy life, and now god is ready to take her into his arms. my condolces to your family. feel superior
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Well thank you for sharing and reminding me to greet everyday with gratitude. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong, you’ve a lot on your plate.
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I'm so sorry. It must be really hard for you and your mom. Hope everything works out okay. I'll be praying for you!
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I'm sorry. I don't know what else to state. Good luck
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Awww…you sound young and you're getting hit with the worst life will ever throw at you.
Here's what you need to remember. Your mom is doing this on her own terms, so there's no upside to trying to second guess any of it. People in end-stage terminal conditions often have thoughts or feelings that can't be figured out by those around them.
This is good news for you, because I can promise she's aware of her impending death, but there's something she wants resolved, maybe even in her own head, before she lets go.
Also if it helps any, this is always harder on family members than the patient. She's not reacting to the falls, etc the way you’re, because she's not fully aware of what she's doing - she just feels an urge to do it.
It sounds like you're doing everything right from your end just by being there. Let her set her own pace and just ride it out with her and you'll never second guess what you did. You're handling this very well.
I'm sorry, though, that it's happening.
Answer:
Hey Tess
Just wanted you to know I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
I envision one of the worst things about being in hospital is having everything, everyday be about how sick you’re with not much in the way of positive news and a disconnection to the rest of the world.
Distract her from the pain as much as you can and don't be afraid of her being too delicate. She's still the feisty mom she always was …just really frustrated she can't do everything for herself. Keep speaking to her like you always did and don't treat her like a sick person …she's got enough physicians and nurses to do that.
Tell her all your news of the day and keep her as involved in life as you can …she might be sick and in pain but she's still here.
When my Nann was leaving us, the things that gave her the most pleasure was hearing about her children, grand children and great grand children and how we were all busy and doing OK in our lives. The thing that made her most unhappy was being mollycoddled, spoon fed and patronized. Also she thought using a potty in bed was appalling and insisted on getting to the water closet despite the horrified Nurses
go ahead and vent away (c;