Mar
I was reading the paper and I noticed a long obituary of a young women that had breast cancer and celebrated her last chemotherapy treatment at SCCC in 2003. Then it said that it had metalized to the brain and she went back on chemotherapy and died recently.
It hurt me to see the picture of this great lady (grade school instructor, wife and mother) that was so loved die from what my wife is fighting now. Our last chemotherapy treatment was last Friday and we felt like celebrating too, but the story of this lady's life and how I could picture her life going after three years of being cancer free then finding out that it begins again, and this time it was fatal ruined my day.
So, if you are fighting cancer or have a loved one going to treatments should one read the newspaper obituariess?
Answer:
It's hard to avoid. I think I'll forever be fascinated, frightened, reassured or torn apart by stories - including obituaries - of people with cancer, especially breast cancer.
I've felt terror because the person's prognosis was the same as mine, and guilt because the person was many years younger than I am.
My treatment ended in the summer. That autumn the sight of all the seasonal changes - leaves falling, winter approaching - made me weep without knowing why. Eventually I realised - I thought it would be the last autumn I'd see.
And everyone was talking about the 2012 London Olympics, and for some reason I latched onto that as the time I would no longer be here, sure it would be something I wouldn't see. Every time the successful Olympic bid was discussed on Television, in the papers, in conversation I reminded myself I probably wouldn't be around. I'm not even that interested in the event, it just became a sort of 'landmark'.
As time passes, the fears become less and don't occupy your each thought.
Celebrate the end of treatment and other landmarks. Do it for the ones who didn't make it - live more gloriously in their memory. A lovely woman I met through a cancer support event and who was my friend for much too short a time died from breast cancer last year aged 33. When I celebrated my 5 year survival recently I raised a glass to her and to all the others I've met through support networks who are no longer with us.
I'm rambling a bit, but your question struck a chord. There’s no 'should' or 'shouldn't'; stories like that young woman's obituary are going to leap off the page at you.
Answer:
It might be a coping mechanism. When a person has cancer they know there is a possibility that they’ll not make it. Reading the obituary might be a way that the person accepts death. According to Kubler-Ross there are five stages of death one goes through. Acceptance is the last stage.
Answer:
i really think you should beware. to make sure nothing brings down your day. your wife is her own person and her body is different than everyone Else's. don't get sad you just keep up being hopefully god will take care of you!
Answer:
Lo, nicely stated.
Answer:
Of course you can read about others going on to be with GOD! what a party they are having while we still sit here and worry about when our cancer will come back.
Waiting for that new shadow on the ultrasound or bad lab report.
Life goes on for some and ends for others.
Just like the trees in the forests that thrive above the ones dead on the forest floor.
We’re people, not forever living mortal beings. Our life is one that is brief, what we are here for is the live so we have the ability to celebrate being with Jesus soon.
Read that obit, and know we’re alive now, and able to talk about it.
Answer:
Hi Dave,
Great news that your wife has had her last chemotherapy treatment ~ you do need to celebrate ~ when I was going through breast cancer treatment and even now (6 years later) I’ve to watch what I read ~ it can have a very negative effect on you ~ I am so sorry you read that because it's such a sad story and I can understand how it would ruin your day ~ but right now you must focus all your energy, on your wife getting superior and supporting her ~ as you’ve been doing so well ~
Take care ~
All the ideal to you and your wife ~