Oct
my fiance is in los angeles and im in ny. she is dying of cancer that has spread throughout her body. theyre taking her off chemo because its not working. she wont let me go see her because she states that she doesnt want this to be how i picture her for the rest of my life. i already miss her so much. shes only 20 years old, and is the smartest, nicest, most beautiful and incredible person i have ever met. its killing me to think about not speaking to her or having a life without her and everything that we should have together. i dont know how to live without her i cant picture loving someone the way i love her
Answer:
As hard as it may be for you to understand and accept, the journey your fiance is on is a personal one and her wishes should be respected. Truly loving someone is unselfish, and her request that you not see her is, I am sure, made with the most unselfish of hearts. You should find it in yourself to be equally unselfish.
My sister refused to see anyone but our parents and me at the end. Her treatments had ravaged her and she didn't want anyone having to remember her that way.
Having lived with the memory of what she was like in those days for a long time, I have developed a deep understanding of her generous decision and lot of respect for the gift she gave our other loved ones. They can remember her smiles, her laughter, her beauty.
I do understand that you're heart is breaking, and I'm so sorry. I know my answer won’t be a popular one, and is one you don't want to hear.
Answer:
I would go see her whether she wants you to or not - or you will feel guilty for the rest of your life.
You need to be there for her (if not physically, then emotionally) and that will help you heal, eventually.
I'm sorry for your loss. There’s nothing you can do but go through the grieving process and try to move on one day.
Answer:
I would go see her. She loves you and is having a hard time and needs support.
Answer:
Go see her now; you may regret later if you don't.
Answer:
First of all, I'm very sorry about your Fiance's condition.
This is a tough one, you want to respect her wishes. Everyone is different when it comes to that situation. Especially since she's so young and beautiful, it's hard for her to accept seeing herself that way let alone someone else.
However, if you don't go, you’ll always regret it. My advice is to go see her and be with her and it sounds like you love her so much, I'm sure when you're with her the right words will come to you to ease the situation.
I'm sure you'll make the right decision, my heart goes out to you.
Answer:
The way she looks shouldn't matter. The way you will remember her is by her personality and spirit. I'd try to make her understand that. You need to be with her right now. It will be hard for you, but in the long run it's the best for you. Go before you wonder how it would have been if you didn't. Cancer is an hideous disease, and I'm sorry she had to get it at such an early age. Just remember to be strong in front of her. Don't show any pain even though it hurts. She needs your support, no sympathy. It will be hard but remember if something were to happen to her that at least she will be at peace and not in pain. This reminds me of the motion picture with Mandy Moore - A walk to remember. You should watch it, maybe it will help you out.